Tag: secure attachment

Secure Attachment is a safety cue

How Secure Attachment Makes Relationships Work Better

Have you ever looked at a loved one’s photo and felt happy? After sharing a problem with someone who understands, did a wave of peace and calm wash over you?

You might enjoy such feelings because of a special emotional bond called secure attachment.

“A secure bond is…. a vital safety cue for your nervous system – one that colors the world as manageable – and basically safe enough to explore and enjoy,” says researcher Dr. Sue Johnson:

“Such a bond is also where we trust that a person will respond to us emotionally…. This does not mean that they will always be able to protect us or solve our problems. It means that we will not face these problems alone.”

We Are Born With the Need for Secure Love

secure attachment is an inborn needIt’s natural to want a lasting emotional connection with another person. We have an inborn need for secure attachment. It’s vital to our sense of safety and wellbeing.

We start looking for someone to turn to from birth. One of the first things … Come Read the Rest

Imperfect parent

How You Can Be Imperfect AND be a Great Parent

A huge challenge for parents is knowing how help when children make mistakes. A parent’s support, especially when things don’t go well, fosters the self-worth and self-compassion it takes to learn from what happened.

I recently watched my brother coach his kids on riding new curved walls on their skateboards. There were plenty of spills, and some bruises. The kids were in charge of how many runs they made, and how fast or slow.

Their dad encouraged them, and gave them feedback on technique. You have to experience gravity and momentum, slope and speed to know how they work, right? He stayed present right along side them as they learned.

Parents want to protect their children. So, they often feel the urge to make problems go away. Yet, as children become teens and adults, they often need a safe person to talk to about challenges.  They want support to explore their own solutions. A parent can be a valuable source of strength as a trusted guide, without taking over.

Of course you want to … Come Read the Rest