Tag: faultfinding

how to deal with blame in a relationship

7 Steps to Banish Blame From Your Relationship

What usually happens when couples fight? It’s tempting to think, “It’s my partner’s fault.”

Finding fault may seem normal and natural. We do it without knowing it. But there’s a problem with faulting your partner when you disagree.

Blame gets in the way of seeing each other clearly. It blinds us to our own part in the conflict. And it makes problem solving almost impossible!

Fighting with your partner sets off strong emotions, like fury and fear of rejection. How can you calm down when your relationship is threatened? How can you explore strong emotions, without getting swept up in them?

Blame happens. But it doesn’t help solve relationship problems. You can shift that energy into something better.

Here are 7 steps to banning blame from your relationship:

1) Know That Blame Is Really Based In Fear

Why are people so quick to point fingers sometimes?

Blame is a defense against the threat of danger. In some families blame is learned in childhood. A sense of danger might come from feeling unheard or judged. You … Come Read the Rest