Tag: emotional connection

emotional connection and attachment theory

How to Find Deeper Love by Understanding Attachment

We want closeness. But all couples fight sometimes. The biggest mistake in a relationship isn’t having arguments. What gets couples in big trouble is avoiding the emotions involved.

Couples can create closer emotional connection with each other, or drive themselves apart. It depends on the way they share emotions. You can make huge positive changes in your relationship by knowing more about emotional attachment.

Couples often seek counseling to stop “fighting all the time about the same stupid things.” The fights usually aren’t just about sex, money, habits, housekeeping, work, or any other topic.

Most couples are really arguing out of desperate isolation and frustration. They feel emotionally starved for connection with each other. They are fighting against something that threatens their need for safe attachment.

The connection between distress and attachment can be hard to see at first. Most couples need a bridge to take them from painful fighting to re-connection so they feel understood, accepted and soothed.

Now, thanks to new knowledge about attachment between adults, we can build that bridge.


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holiday blues

When the Holiday Hues Bring the Holiday Blues

Lights – Decorations – Presents! Does Holiday Hustle Give You Holiday Blues?

  • Don’t let the rush of activities starve your relationship.
  • Do make time each day for quiet check-ins with yourself and your loved ones.

Why Reaching Out to Others is Important…

Do you ever feel like ships passing in the night? Spending time around loved ones, but not feeling like you’re “with” each other? Feeling like you’re just going through the motions and feeling alone?

These are signs that what you’re longing for — and missing — is emotional connection. Sometimes the extra work at holiday time pulls people in different directions.

5 Important Ways To Connect Emotionally, Despite the Holiday Rush

1) Take time to sense and understand the longing you’re feeling. Recognize your wish for moments of connection with to your partner as a good thing — not an intrusion. It hurts to go too long just “doing” without feeling like ” being” is also part of the holiday picture with someone you care about.

2) Look for the positive side Come Read the Rest

Love is like a safe harbor for you and your partner

Finding Safe Passage to Emotional Connection

What are we looking for in our most important relationships? It’s that feeling of a safe, dependable, steady connection with another person. It helps us stay on an even keel despite whatever is going on around us.

What we’re looking for — what we are wired for — is secure emotional connection. Without it, we’re like storm-tossed ships at sea. Much of what keeps us afloat during the tumult of life, and anchors us to a sense of purpose, is a strong enough awareness that we matter, that we are important and valued by someone we care about.

We hear popular love songs and see books and movies full of love stories. Yet for many of us, real-life emotional connection is hard to find. People are everywhere, but still many of us feel isolated, afraid, and alone. It’s like the passage to connection is hiding in plain sight. Why does this happen?

Why Is Emotional Connection So Hard Sometimes?

Many of us may have missed the chance to learn by experience what secure love and … Come Read the Rest