Category: Parenting in Our Changing World

Imperfect parent

How You Can Be Imperfect AND be a Great Parent

A huge challenge for parents is knowing how help when children make mistakes. A parent’s support, especially when things don’t go well, fosters the self-worth and self-compassion it takes to learn from what happened.

I recently watched my brother coach his kids on riding new curved walls on their skateboards. There were plenty of spills, and some bruises. The kids were in charge of how many runs they made, and how fast or slow.

Their dad encouraged them, and gave them feedback on technique. You have to experience gravity and momentum, slope and speed to know how they work, right? He stayed present right along side them as they learned.

Parents want to protect their children. So, they often feel the urge to make problems go away. Yet, as children become teens and adults, they often need a safe person to talk to about challenges.  They want support to explore their own solutions. A parent can be a valuable source of strength as a trusted guide, without taking over.

Of course you want to … Come Read the Rest

Parent-child love in the digital age

How to Save Your Parent-Child Connection from Technology

Touch, eye contact, and physical play feel good. They are the building blocks of parent-child connection. What’s more, they nurture our brains, hearts, and disease-fighting systems. They help us build secure relationships.

Many parents see the value of helping children learn to use technology. They want to stay in touch, and help them master important tools. But we need to pay special attention if tech time takes away time spent face-to-face.

We need to mind what we do, because giving our in-person attention to parent-child connection is vital to our mental and physical health.

Secure Attachment Has a Physical Foundation

Did you feel seen and understood as a child? Then you probably feel safe, and expect connection from relationships now. Was your family distracted by work, illness, or relationship problems? Then you may not feel as safe or as confident about being present with others.

We learn how to connect with others from the experience of being with our caregivers. Our main caregiver connection, or parent-child connection is our model for forming self-understanding … Come Read the Rest

Stepfamily working together

Tips for Stepparents: How to Avoid 2 Relationship Problems

Nobody plans on becoming a stepparent. But it happens more often than you might think. About 1300 new stepfamilies form every day, reports the Census Bureau. More children are living in stepfamilies or other partnerships than ever before. Experts estimate that by the time they finish high school, more than half of children will spend some time living outside a “traditional” nuclear family structure with married biological parents.

Building a stepfamily may seem like a wonderful chance to start over. The bliss of new love inspires hope, courage, and brings out our best. But it can also blind us to some difficult truths — mainly that your kids and new partner may not love each other the way you want them to.

Most couples underestimate the challenge of becoming a blended family. It will take much more time and patience than you likely imagine. Even if you are certain you know what you’re getting into, tranquil waters can become wild rapids in a flash.

Help for step parents is here. It’s important to know about … Come Read the Rest