When the Holiday Hues Bring the Holiday Blues
Lights – Decorations – Presents! Does Holiday Hustle Give You Holiday Blues?
- Don’t let the rush of activities starve your relationship.
- Do make time each day for quiet check-ins with yourself and your loved ones.
Why Reaching Out to Others is Important…
Do you ever feel like ships passing in the night? Spending time around loved ones, but not feeling like you’re “with” each other? Feeling like you’re just going through the motions and feeling alone?
These are signs that what you’re longing for — and missing — is emotional connection. Sometimes the extra work at holiday time pulls people in different directions.
5 Important Ways To Connect Emotionally, Despite the Holiday Rush
1) Take time to sense and understand the longing you’re feeling. Recognize your wish for moments of connection with to your partner as a good thing — not an intrusion. It hurts to go too long just “doing” without feeling like ” being” is also part of the holiday picture with someone you care about.
2) Look for the positive side of loneliness. It’s good and healthy to want to talk about more than dinner plans or schedules with your loved ones. Loneliness does not feel good, and nobody wants it!
But feeling it doesn’t make you undesirable.
There’s a positive side to loneliness. It provides a natural human stress to energize you to take good care of yourself by re-connecting.
3) Resist the temptation to accept the worst-case reasons for today’s trouble. You may be tempted to give into your most negative thinking when you feel down:
- “Nobody’s interested in me.”
- “I just can’t talk to other people.”
- “Is this relationship just wrong for me?”
For the moment, ask yourself, what would happen if you put these doubts aside for today? Sometimes, couples just fall out of the habit of doing things deliberately to be together. Maybe there are other very normal reasons that disconnection has grown.
- Put the electronics down — choose to be open for connection
- Offer a hug
- Make eye contact
- Be interested in what your partner is doing, thinking, feeling
- Share your truth: “I miss you”
- Make plans to be together: brunch, dinner, errands
- Do random acts of sweetness, such as writing a note or message, helping out — things that make you feel good about your affection
5) Forgive yourself. We sometimes fall into thinking a good relationship can keep running well on autopilot. But it can’t — because that’s not how relationships work. It’s not your fault or the relationship’s fault. All relationships need to be refreshed and nourished, many times, with friendly moments of attachment.
If you have struggled to make relationships work, forgive yourself.
Reaching out to connect shows you care. A mutual sense of caring will lighten the daily grind for you and those you reach out to, even at the busiest of times.
We are here to help you.
You and your friendships can thrive on actions you can learn. Talk with one of our skilled therapists in Alexandria Virginia.