How to Manage Feelings With Perspective-Taking
The way you look at things — your perspective — has a lot to do with your mental health and happiness. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” That says something about the power of perspective-taking. But do we really haveRead More
How To Comfort Pain With Radical Acceptance
Say you’re struggling with a job, relationship or personal challenge. You’ve been stuck for a long time without relief. Part of you might start thinking: “I’m not good enough for a better job.” “I’m so messed up. I’m not worth loving.” “IRead More
This Grounding Technique Can Help You Feel In Control of Your Life
When people come into my office, often they’re highly stressed. Some are even bouncing with anxiety because too many things feel out of their control. Grounding techniques help you shift energy so you can focus on what you can control. They are upset with a situation at work or atRead More
How to Keep Love Growing in a Relationship (2019)
“Love has a kind of magic. It’s able to do amazing things.” That’s what researcher Dr. John Gottman said about great friendships and love relationships, in a TEDx talk. Social science tells us, those who enjoy healthy friendships and love also enjoy: Greater physical health Greater mental health Greater wealthRead More
How to Get a Resistant Teen Into Therapy
You may have decided to get your teen into counseling because an issue has you concerned. Signs your teen may need therapy include: Your teen’s life seems full of anxiety or stress. You’re worried about how much time they spend online or gaming. You’re fighting all the time. You mayRead More
Family Therapy: You Don’t Need a Crisis to Benefit
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.” Bessel van der Kolk, MD, from The Body Keeps Score When I think about a family, I think about a place where it’s okayRead More
The Purpose of Marriage: To Secure Your Safety and Connection First
Three relationship experts share their findings about the purpose of marriage for strength, safety and belonging. Drs. John Gottman, Sue Johnson, and Stan Tatkin have studied how relationships impact each partner’s sense of wellbeing. They identified traits of healthy relationships and the struggles or weaknesses of troubled marriages in theirRead More
How to Ease Someone’s Troubles by Holding Space
“I need space.” You’ve probably heard this or said it. What does that even mean? It’s about holding space for emotions. To understand each other and ourselves, we need to make room for thoughts and feelings. Holding space is essential to wellbeing and relationships. It’s like giving a gift ofRead More
What’s a Bid for Connection and Why You Need to Know
If you want any relationship to feel better, you need to know about bids for connection. A bid for connection is anything a person does to spark a positive feeling with another. It might be obvious – like a hug, a handshake and a smile. Or it might be subtleRead More
3 Relationships Skills that will Impact Your Happiness
We’re bombarded with ideas for building happiness in relationships. Media show smiling parents, laughing children, and romantic partners basking in the glow of love. You don’t have to buy what they are selling. Love and friendship thrive on actions you can learn. Here are 3 science-based skills that help build happinessRead More