This is Why Our Need for Secure Attachment is So Strong
We want closeness. But all couples fight sometimes. The biggest mistake in a relationship isn’t having arguments. What gets couples in big trouble is avoiding the emotions involved. Couples can create closer emotional connection with each other, or drive themselves apart. It depends on the way they share emotions. YouRead More
How to Understand a Pursuer – Distancer Relationship
Scene from a Pursuer Distancer Relationship: Partner 1: I wish you would pick up your stuff in the living room! Partner 2: Yeah? Well, between walking the dog, paying the bills, and working all day, I didn’t get to it. Partner 1: But it’s your stuff! I don’t want toRead More
Feel Happier, Safer & Better Understood: Couples Workshop
Here is how Mark and Elena used to spend time together: Here are Mark and Elena now, enjoying a moment of emotional connection: What’s the difference? Mark and Elena noticed a distance that wasn’t there before. So they did something about it. Ever feel like your relationship is a littleRead More
How to Meet Your Relationship Needs (and not be needy)
Each of us has a basic human need for love. The need for a secure bond is hardwired in us from birth. But we are not born knowing how to express our emotional needs in words. We need to learn about meeting needs in a relationship. Meeting our needs for emotionalRead More
How to See and Express Needs In Your Relationship
When love is new, needing each other feels great. Being with someone who’s fun, sexy, kind and upbeat feels terrific. Wanting love and friendship like this is natural and human. Sharing your fun side is easy. But learning to see and express needs in a relationship triggers many of theRead More
How to Feel Grounded: 3 Tips to Feel More Calm and Alive
Wonder what being grounded means? A belief is “grounded in reality.” A fact is “grounded in science.” What is a grounded person? Being grounded means you feel at home with yourself. You are present and at peace in your own skin. In psychotherapy grounding techniques are “any techniques which are usedRead More
5 Fun Things to Do On a Winter Day
Do you have places you like to go, just because it feels good to be there? We thought about the places that make us smile when we visit. These are our personal choices. They don’t cost anything. They aren’t complicated. They are close to Alexandria, Virginia, where we work. EnjoyRead More
5 Mindset Shifts that Make Love Stronger, Happier
Love feels so good when it starts, it’s hard to imagine feeling any other way. But if your loved one says two nice things and one criticism about you, guess what sticks in your mind? Humans naturally focus on what’s wrong. It’s called the negativity bias. It’s likely a survivalRead More
3 Ways to Take Care of Yourself at Dysfunctional Family Gatherings
How do you feel about the holiday season? Many of us have emerged from dysfunctional, chemically altered, abusive, negligent or toxic family relationships. Merely the thought of facing these people again can set off a firestorm of triggers. You may feel guilty about avoiding family during holidays. You may dreadRead More
My Partner Doesn’t Understand Me: How to Fix Relationship Problems (without fighting)
When you try to talk with your partner, you may find yourself saying: We don’t understand each other. Everything I say is taken the wrong way. My husband doesn’t understand me emotionally. I can’t talk to my wife about how I feel. Sometimes it’s true: we just don’t understand. ItRead More